Refrigerate after opening

I've got to get something off my chest that's been bothering me for quite a while. It has offended and perplexed me for a while now, and tonight just pushed me over the edge. I was going down the aisles of our United Supermarket and was in the chilled meats section. Off to the side--not in one of the refrigerated shelves--was a package of pepperonis. Now, I am of the opinion that any meat product should be refrigerated. No animal product should have so many preservatives not to warrant that. Then came that warning in small print at the bottom of the package: Refrigerate after opening.

Don't get me wrong; I'm a big fan of pepperonis, but what magical property do they contain that allows them to sit on a shelf at 72 degrees Fahrenheit for a month before the seal is broken at which time it must go directly into a refrigerator. It was not even that the pepperonis were vacuum-packed packed. Oh no, there was most definitely air in there.

So, why the charade? I could only boil it down to a couple of options. Perhaps, like a fine wine, the pepperonis simply need that time on the lukewarm shelf to cure and age to just the right spiciness. But, maybe even more likely, the warning is simply the company giving the pepperonis an illusion of mortality. Maybe "refrigerate after opening" is the subtle way to say, "Eat these before they go back, and go buy some more."

Maybe next time I make a United run I'll buy one of those packages of pepperonis. Find out what this lie is all about. And after they've sat a month on one of the store's lukewarm shelves, I'll bet they can stand another week on one of mine.