Chocolate Cake for Breakfast

Thursday, February 07, 2008

Letter from the Editor

Dear Mr. President,

I hear you're getting ready to take over things around here. Congratulations on the new job – I think. I hope you're ready to go to work on Day 1 without any on-the-job training because things haven't exactly been going well lately. And we haven't been too happy with the leadership or the direction they took us in.

You're looking a lot older than you once did. You've been around this business for a long time now. Some people doubt your ability to get the job done. They say we're simply holding on to the past by supporting you. They say we needed new blood, maybe even some younger blood. But there's something about you – you've made us excited. You've given us hope.

But your predecessors certainly did you no favors.

Performance ratings for our leaders have hit all-time lows the past few years, so it's hard to imagine you making things any worse. But you're not here just to maintain the status quo. A lot of people have been clamoring for change around here. They want a new direction. That's why you're here. To make some sense of the mess you've been left with.

We used to have it pretty good. But it's been a long eight years here. The late '90s seem so long ago. And the people of this great nation deserve better. We all know George W. used to run things around here, but we're not looking to the past – it's all about the future. Of course, we want things to get better in the here and now, too. But we all know the most important thing you can do is help raise the next generation that will keep this nation great for years to come.

So, good luck President Nolan Ryan. You'll certainly need it. The fans of the Texas Ranger nation salute you.

Tuesday, February 05, 2008

Super Week

Three days. Two Supers. Just 36 hours after basking in the glow of a Patriots' defeat on Super Sunday, I'm gearing up for another favorite pastime – election season in all it's glory. Happy Super Tuesday!

Sunday, February 03, 2008

18-1

Super Bowl XLII was supposed to be a sacrificial ceremony. New York was the lamb, and New England was the man with the knife needing to spill just one last team's blood before it's coronation as the greatest team of all time. And when Tom Brady tossed an easy touchdown to Randy Moss with 2:42 left in the fourth quarter, the Patriots had Giants' head pressed down and the knife raised. But this sacrificial lamb had other ideas. And with 35 seconds left, Eli Manning and Plaxico Burress picked the Giants up off the altar, and it was the Patriots' blood this was spilled before the football gods.

And what a sacrifice it was.

People have been trying to quantify the Patriots' place in history for months. Were they the best team the NFL has ever seen? Where does Tom Brady rank among the league's best quarterbacks? Is Bill Belichick (Spygate aside) the greatest coach of all time? And just when the media had sized all three for their crowns, the Giants reminded us how silly it is to have all that talk was before the final game has been played.

It turns out the greatest team of all time isn't even the best team this season.

The greatest quarterback of all time was bested by a quarterback previously known more for his shortcomings and his older brother.


And the best coach of all time didn't even stay on the field for the last play as the clock expired to congratulate a coach who likely had to convince his team's management why he should have kept his job after a disappointing season last year.


(Quick aside: What happened to the gray hoodie? Did the ratty, old garment finally fall apart in the wash? Maybe this fancy, red short-sleeved hoodie simply was his dress hoodie only pulled out of the closet for coronation ceremonies. Now, we might never see him without the gray rag ever again.)

I've always heard it said that people only remember the winners of the Super Bowl, not the losers. I don't think that will be the case this year. In fact, I wouldn't be surprised if people have more trouble remembering what team was responsible for putting the only blemish on the '07 Patriots' record. And that gives this Cowboys fan some satisfaction. Because I don't really want to have to dwell on the winners of this game – this is the same team who knocked the Cowboys out of the playoffs three weeks ago. But I don't think I'll forget it was the day the whole world came to crown the Patriots dynasty, but the crown everyone spent the past five months sizing for them for still ended up being a little too big after all.